Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Pelvic Thrust Physical Therapy

I work in a male dominated industry. Over the years I’ve worked very hard to be considered, “one of the guys”. I knew I’d achieved that goal when I was invited one year to the “Guys Gambling Weekend” in Tahoe. Because I valued being “One of the guys” – and none of the wives ever had a problem with me – I didn’t go on that weekend trip. I figured there was no sense in placing myself in a position for things to get out of hand.

All this is to say I have a pretty keen sense of “guy” ethics/humor. In my first interview for the job in my current industry I was told I would have to know how to do the following if I wanted to be a succeed:

a) Tell “off-color” (read sexual) jokes (check – no problem)

b) Cuss like a sailor (check – really no problem)

c) Drink single malt scotch (check, with pleasure)

d) Smoke cigars (I told them I’d work on it) … Somewhere my cousin has a picture of me hanging out with the guys in Muir Woods drinking scotch and smokin’ stogies.

Time went by … and I became more of a ‘success’ than I knew. Frequently I’d meet someone for the first time and I’d be greeted with, “Oh, so you’re MitMoi. Tell us the joke about the farmer’s son that made Boiko blush”, or some such comment. That should provide you with enough background for this story.

One day I was driving in Alabama … just going from one clients place of business to another’s when my phone rang. It was another colleague from Tennessee. He told one of our mutual friends was getting “cabin fever” after his hip replacement surgery. He said, “You know MitMoi – you’re always pulling jokes on people – why don’t you call RT and have some fun with him?”

So I told him I’d think about it while I was in my next meeting – and then give RT a call. Now I don’t know how many of you have been through hip replacement surgery, but for a long period of time you aren’t even allowed out of bed. RT was celebrating the fact that he could finally get out of bed to pee – AND sit in a chair for 3 hours a day! In fact, he’d finally healed enough that he was due to start physical therapy. So … three hours later, this was the call he received from his new physical therapist.

RT: Hello?

Miss Snap: Mr. T? Is this Mr. R. T?

RT: Uhhh, yes.

Miss Snap: Mr. RT, mayh name is Ginger Snap … and ah’m yo’ new Physical Therapist, and ah’m sooo sorry that I’m late for our appointment. Now Ah jus’ wanted to confirm that you’ah house is at 123 Suburb Drive, rite?

RT: Uhh, yes, that’s right.

Miss Snap: Well, ah’ll be there in about five minutes. Now you jus’ had a hip replacement, rite?

RT: Yes

Miss Snap: An as I read mayh notes, ayh see it’s been about 4 weeks since your surgery, rite?

RT: Yes, that’s right.

Miss Snap: Well, now you jess sit back and relax, Ah’ll be there directly to start our Pelvic Thrust Physical Therapy. Which we’ll follow up with the lap-dance exercises. Now you just sit tight, I’ll be there in 5 minutes, ok. Bye now! <>

Next I called the instigator of this joke … and told him to call RT and ask about his upcoming Physical Therapy appointment!

To this day, I get phone calls for “Miss Ginger” and her pelvic thrust treatments *giggle*

1 comment:

Wendy said...

LOL Your sense of humor is great. Next time a guy's wife calls asking after him say "Oh he just left with his wife." (Then hide)