Sunday, December 30, 2007

Maudlin Mit at the Movies

I’m not a big movie fan. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was from being a broke college student, but I’d rather spend the movie money on a epicurean delight.

Or – maybe it was in college I realized I cannot distance myself from life and from the movies. I distinctly recall seeing Rambo – and being horrified into near hysterical weeping at what was being portrayed on the screen. (Clearly NOT the sentiment the filmmaker was trying to solicit.) After that movie I made a vow to never go see a “gratuitous blood and guts” movie again.

Then there are the thrillers. I don’t know. I can read graphic violence, and went through the Stephen King phase. I distinctly remember reading his story, “The Talisman” co-authored with Peter Straub. I enjoyed it. But can’t watch it on the big screen.

Actually, not being able to see suspense/horror flicks isn’t a surprise. It started young – with a bad reaction to Disney’s Blackbeard’s Ghost, which my parents and brother kept assuring me was a “comedy”. (remains unconvinced to this day) Then there was the great viewing of “The Cowboys” with John Wayne. They still claim they thought I’d enjoy the movie, as I was SO in love with the wild west, cowboys, and Zane Gray. WRONG!!! What second grader wants to see kids her age stampeded and trampled to death by cows? Not to mention see the hero of the movie die??

Still not understanding my inability to deal with graphic violence, we went and viewed Jaws. Or perhaps I should say they, and the friend invited to join us, viewed the movie. I examined my hands, my fingers, and how you could make lights explode on your eyelids if you clench your eyes together really, really, tight.

As a teenager I went to one or two of the slasher flicks like “Children of the Corn” and “Friday the 13th”. I’ve found the only way to make it through these movies is to watch the people behind me. I mean, I just don’t get it. Hello! Scary music is playing. Something bad is going to happen to “you-stupid-person-on-the-screen”. GET THE FUCK OUT!!

I mean, I don’t even have to hear the scary music – and can tell when things “aren’t good”. Which is why I’ll not listen to ghost stories around the campfire, nor sleep off away from everyone else. No psycho-killer is going to get me unawares in my tent and sleeping bag. Nor will any bear or wild animal ever take surprise me, as I am fully prepared with pots and pan-lids to bang at loud decibels while shrieking at the first snort or snuffle.

So – you’d think comedy would be a safe choice, wouldn’t you? *looks sad*

Not so much. If nothing else, I am a realist. And slap-stick/situation comedies just set my teeth on edge. I endured Blazing Saddles, Something About Mary, and The Jerk. (uggh) However! I am a Walter Matthau fan, and enjoy Jack Nicholson in some comedy roles. I also have a soft spot for Monty Python. Now I think Monty’s stuff is “witty” humor – not sure why. Maybe it’s the play on words? Or concepts?

Which doesn’t leave a whole lot of viewing genera, does it? Now I will tell you one place where I TOTALLY am willing to suspend belief. I love – with an unequalled passion – musicals. *dreamy eyed sigh*

As a child, staying home sick had a 50/50 chance of not being too bad, if Channel 2 KTVU and “Dialing for Dollars” was showing some old black and white song and dance movie!

Bring on Bing.

Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers – and any of the Big Band Gang. I am there – hook, line, and sinker!

And even when musicals made the transition to color … I cannot resist, “On a Clear Day”, “Hello Dolly”, “My Fair Lady”, or “Fiddler on the Roof”.

Sometimes I can stomach sappy love stories. I thought today would be one of those times. My neighbor and I went and saw, P.S. I Love You. Clearly a sappy “Chick-flick” from the title.

Anyway – I’m glad the theater was dark. Who wants to watch some middle-aged lady in a theater with tears rolling down her checks, eh?

The most redeeming part of the movie? Well, I thought it was going to be that she only had “one love”. But NOOOOOOO – greedy bitch. Looks like she’ll end up with two.


Joseph H. said...

Wow -- someone else who used to watch KTVU as a kid. I remember there was some UHF station -- channel 40-something -- that showed SF flicks on Saturday afternoons. That was made for me. :)

Did you freak out like I did when I realized that the Jim Lange on KSFO was the same Jim Lange on The Dating Game?

MitMoi said...

I didn't make the connection with Jim Lange.

The channel you're thinking about was Channel 44. (or maybe that station came from further north.) It had Simba! The White Lion, and Speed Racer on weekdays.

Christopher Paquette said...

uh...HELLO!? Simba??

Try Kimba


Christopher Paquette said...

and I cry at movies and I don't give a damn who sees me.

Go see Juno.... it's wonderful. And you will cry.

MitMoi said...

*snort* "Simba", "Kimba" w/e ... at least I got the lion part right!

Really, watching TV was my brother's job!

Woodstock said...

The state of movies is deplorable these days, and you didn't exactly have good experiences either as a kid!

We just saw Atonement and it's...a tragedy in the purest sense. Beautiful, epic, and utterly horrible in both a human sense and a "grand scale of war" sense (they recreate the retreat to Dunkirk).

Anonymous said...

I recommend Stardust, which I saw yesterday with the hubby. T'was quite a lovely movie indeed!'s The Simpsons movie! Ya gotta wonder...why the heck have I, of all people, waited so long to see The Simpsons movie???? The world may never know.

I hope you're doing well Mit!



tp said...

How come you never shared all these horrific feelings with me ?? Yes, I know you don't like scarey movies, but -- go to the ones you can cry in - relieves a lot of stress !!!!!