Friday, December 08, 2006

Leaf Blowers and Rudeness

From an environmental standpoint many people are unhappy with leaf blowers. Their small engines contribute to the pollution load that’s depleting our ozone layer. That’s not my gripe. Some people dislike them for the noise they make. Especially early on weekend mornings, or just as you’re about ready to slip into that lazy weekend nap. That’s not my gripe either. Am I the only one who realizes how pointless leaf blowers are? I mean, Hello!, they’re just blowing the leaves to a new location! Nothing is getting any better. Hello? You don’t want leaves in your yard? I don’t want them in mine, either.

The same can be said for raking leaves. What’s the good of raking up leaves – if your going to leave them curbside for the next big wind/rain to redistribute them in the neighborhood. (Clearly I am the pot calling the kettle back here – if you live near me, know I am in a constant fight with my yard care company about this issue.) And do the municipalities help out any with this issue? Nooooo. Here in my fair “City of the Oaks”, you must bag your leaves in special biodegradable bags!

Will all the procrastinators and frugal readers please raise their hands? *raises hand* Do you REALLY think I am going to buy special bags that cost twice the amount of regular yard waste bags to dispose of my leaves? Do you really think I’ll have said bags on-hand the rare day I work up the enthusiasm for cleaning up my yard?

Do you know what infuriates me even more? When I’m driving down the road, past a business complex, housing development, public space and the maintenance crew is blowing the leaves into traffic and by default ALL OVER MY CAR! Grrrr!

What about the design of leaf blowers? If you can conceive of something that will BLOW leaves around, how much more difficult would it be to conceive of something that will SUCK leaves up into bags automatically? That way I’m not fighting the age old war of rake width which is ALWAYS wider than bag opening. Not to mention the fact God only saw it fit to award me two permanent arms instead of 2 permanent arms and two detachable arms. (And what was God thinking? Did he not realize there would be single people in this world, single people who needed to hang pictures, flip bed mattresses, clean gutters, and place leaves in bags?!)

Clearly leaf blowers are the invention of a man, and not a woman. Every time I see one I’m reminded of one of my most favorite roommates. I called him 80% Jim. Not because he was 20% someone else, but because when ever he cleaned anything he only did 80% of the job. He did that 80% really, really, well. He took pride in it. He was thorough, with the 80% the other 20%? Ehh? Not so concerned. He’d clean the kitchen after I cooked. And BEAM at me when he was done. “Look at what a great job I did”, he’d proclaim. “See I even wiped off the counter!”, he further pointed out. “Yep, nice try, why don’t you do it again, and this time, perhaps you could move the toaster and the coffee maker and the flour/sugar canisters and wipe under them too?”, I’d remark. After all, I grew up with that aged old adage – say it with me:

“If you’re going to do something, do it right, G&^%%&*@#m-it!”

Examples of rude greetings:

Phone: Ring, ring!

Me: (Because sometimes I’m forced to answer the phones at work) Hello, x business, may I help you?

RC: (Rude caller) Who’s this?

Me: I don’t know, who’s this? (said with extreme irritation in my voice)

I cannot tell you how much it hacks me off to have people not return a greeting, or identify themselves when they call! Didn’t you people learn proper phone etiquette?

Two or three phone lines ringing at once:

Phone1: Ring, Ring

Phone2: Ring, Ring

Phone3: Ring, Ring

Receptionsist answering Phone1: Hello, “X” business, will you please hold?

Phone1 caller: Yes

Receptionsist answering Phone2: Hello, “X” business, will you please hold?

Phone2 caller: Hey, I need to ….

Receptionsist answering Phone3: Hello, “X” business, will you please hold?

Phone3 caller: No!

Now I ask you. Do you really think you’re being asked anything beyond a courteous question? What makes you, Caller 2, disregard the greeting? And Caller 3? If you say “No”, and I’m answering the phone? Please be prepared to call back. Because if you are telling me, “No” you don’t want to hold, then I’m hanging up on you, and you can call back and take you’re chances no one else is calling at that same moment.

e-Mail1 Rudeness: Your choice in music and movies suck. But you have good taste!

Me: Well, how kind of you to stop by, don’t expect a response out of me, because clearly EVERYTHING about you sucks.

e-Mail2 Rudness from an 18 y/o: Hi! Want to party?

Me: What an attractive offer? How can I refuse? (Hits delete key)

e-Mail3 Rudness from someone without a clue: My dear love, I want to make all the sadness and disappointment in your life disappear. If you join your life with mine, and my 4 year old son, your joy will be complete.

Me: Yes, my joy would be complete(ly) DESTROYED.


Woodstock said...

I have often wondered why they haven't invented a leaf sucking machine that can be used by a single individual. We have [laugh with me now] curb side leaf collection in DC as well so i can relate to the pointlessness of raking them into the street (by the way, who said it was fine to take up a parking space with dead leaves? hello! city dweller here!).

As for the rudeness...oh, my yes. They had me teach the other interns how to take a phone message 15 years ago when I was interning with a major news bureau. Imagine where we'll be after another decade of IM and Txt message language. I 4see trble ;)

Keetha said...

I'm with you on the leaf blowers although I take more issue with the noise they make rather than the fact that all they did is push the leaves around.

My neighbors have one and it is THE most annoying sound ever. This high pitched whiny buzzy noise. (shudder)

JMom said...

lol! sorry to be smiling at your rants, but I totally agree with you. First, with the useless leaf blower which kind of goes against the principle of taking care of your environment. Yes, lets do it with something that uses fuel, emits pollution, and also makes loud annoying noise. Frankly, I don't understand how anyone can stand using those things.

As for rude callers, I hate the very familiar ones the most. Like you know them so well they don't have to identify themselves and just start talking to you. Only my mom has this privillege :P My rude self usually interrups them midsentence to ask who is this? My nice hubby lets them go through their schpiel while trying to figure out who the hell it is talking.

I can just see your reaction to email 3 :) I can't imagine how you wouldn't think a man with a 4 year old son couldn't bring you joy? lol!