Clark Guy - Sis Draper

The words to the song, "Sis Draper", by Clark Guy are fun

And I can totally identify with this line,

"She'll play all night if she feels like it

have some fruit punch if you spike it"

I really like the sound of this ... and YOU will too.

Because I SAY SO.

****

Today was a rough day. Got in the office early to get set up for the push of the two webinars today. We are continuing to have audio problems. We have a sound board – but when it’s plugged into the ‘puter it’s not giving us any “pickup” … or Cadillac’s or even making ANY SOUND AT ALL. And apparently - the job of a sound board is to increase (and level out) the sound.

And the regular (mono mike) isn’t consistently picking up sound (problem we’ve had all along) and each time you unplug/re-plug in the Y splitter – the computer looses the connection all together and the WHOLE DAMN thing has to be rebooted.

Then we figured out one side of the splitter (‘cause I have to close the loop so the audio from the movie is pushed) is borked.

With 30 minutes before show time – we sent someone off to Radio Shack to get a new splitter – a mono splitter. When he returned – it was with a STEREO splitter. *sigh*

Part of the problem - and the need for the sound board is because the mic is only picking up sound if it is RIGHT AT YOUR MOUTH - otherwise the mic's not picking up any unrecorded speech. Not if it's on your lapel, not near the left side of your face - or laying on the table - or propped up on the screen of the laptop. Oh - noooo. Your lips must be TOUCHING THE MIC. So the board is supposed to BOOST the sound wave and allow you to manage the GAIN. (In theory - which remains unproven - as it isn't working.)

But you know - I work with Engineers - and there is NO PROBLEM they cannot solve. (a-hem)

So now I have the mic DANGLING FROM MY GLASSES so it HANGS (over the nose bridge and) RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY MOUTH – and then we have to scooootch the jack in-out until it hit’s the “sweet spot”.

OF COURSE since I know NOTHING about sound – all I could do is stand on the sidelines while the “engineers” clicked and mumbled over my laptop as they tried to figure out the problem.. And then they had me drag out my old XP machine which has NONE OF THE DATA or SOFTWARE ON IT. ('because - you know. Maybe the fact the machine displays great sound waves some times and doesn't others is systematic of VISTA! (not)

Obviously this is a < sarcasm > GREAT idea at T -5 minutes to going live. < / sarcasm >

Anyway – finally held up my left foot, squeezed my right tit – swallowed the mic and the show was on.

******

Here are the lyrics:

"Kick your shoes off in the corner mama

Tuck the babies all up snug

Sis Draper's comin' over, we all gonna cut a rug

When you see that lantern swingin' yonder

Comin' up the Holler Road

Them dogs'll get to barkin'

Ought to tie em all up with a rope

***

You boys better get in tune

Sis Draper's gonna be here soon

Don't shoot no dice nor get too tight

If you're gonna pick with Sis tonight

She came down from the Boston mountains

There was lightnin' in the air

Honey on them fiddle strings

Magnolia in her hair

She's a diamond in the rough

If you can't see the shine that's tough

Play all night for the likes of us

Sis Draper's got the touch

***

She'll play all night if she feels like it

have some fruit punch if you spike it

Sis don't care who don't like it

See, ol' Sis has got a Hell of a bow arm on her

***

She stepped up and sawed one off

And uncle Cleve dropped his jaw

Said she's the best I ever saw

She must be from Arkansas

***

I think Grandpa used to date her

Grandma says she still hates her

All the fellas stand up straighter

In the presence of Sis Draper

***

Sis Draper is the devil's daughter

Plays the fiddle Daddy bought her

Plays it like her mama taught her

She's a travelin' Arkansawyer

***

Put her fiddle in a box

Said it's getting awful late

She's on her way to Little Rock

And Little Rock can't wait

***

So we all stood out in the yard

Hands all full of watermelon

Watcher her leave watched her go

Wishin' I was in that wagon

***

Sis Draper is the devil's daughter

Plays the fiddle Daddy bought her

Plays it like her mama taught her

She's a travelin' Arkansawyer"