Saturday, January 10, 2009

Out of the Woodwork

Clearly it’s no secret that I hang out on the interwebz. But I don’t tell many people who I am "in real life" … ‘cause I figured NO ONE told the truth. There are two places where I use my birth name. One is on Classmates and the other is a professional social network. Everywhere else, I am MitMoi.; which suits me just fine.

In the last few days I’ve connected with two old friends; one from High School and one from childhood. All three of us are former band-geeks. We hung out back then and laughed … and laughed. We went to football and basketball games (because of band, of course) but I can’t recall much else that we did (okay that is an out and out lie. The second person I made contact with, I could chronicle EVERYTHING we EVER did) My real point though is that there isn’t much memorable about me and those Junior High and High School years. I never got in much trouble – nor did I burn any bright academic trails. I have no idea what else we did besides stick to ourselves and try and wade through the days, months, years.

I’ll tell you this … I was happy to leave home and never looked back. I saw college as a chance to get away and become “the real” me and lose the constrains of those childhood impressions I made on everyone. However, like anyone else who’s tried to run away – I came to realize geography and familiarity don’t change personality and character.

I still think of myself as anonymous when I write here – and interact with people on-line. I tend to believe that who you see here isn’t “all” of me. That it’s just a shadow of me – and that I cannot accurately portray myself through my stories and observations.

After IM’ing with the Bearfoot (inside joke) and Eric, it might just be that I am DELUSIONAL. It seems as if they remember me pretty well after all these years. Bearfoot is not surprised by my quick humor – my teasing – or my led foot.

And in seconds I had Eric laughing. Something about … me being a dork … or hiding out …or me, being me. I guess when I get it right, I am really funny.

Within a sentence or two the BEARFOOT was calling me trouble. I told him I am “Mit” now … only “Mostly in Trouble” … not “trouble”.

Not long ago someone in the blogging community asked their readers, “What was your worst school year/age between Jr. High and High School?” Over a thousand people responded with a specific age or school-hood memory. I never added my two cents, because I didn’t think that any one year was worse than all the others. Except for my small rag-tag group of friends, all the years were pretty horrifying.

But now that I’ve made this contact with the past … I wonder. Was I as big a loser and dork as I thought I was? Within two minutes I had these guys cracking up – and telling me how they’d know me anywhere by my personality. Anonymity was impossible with them.

I don’t know. Maybe I should give myself a break … maybe I’m not that … <insert adjective of choice here> … maybe I’m fine just the way I am/was. Maybe I just need to realize I’m an acquired taste. And those who like it will be my friends forever – and those who don’t, will ever like me, no matter how I try to contort myself into a different product.

Hmm – lots to think about here …

But before I completely wallow in the mud of morbidity ….

I talked to the BAREFOOT!!!!

And “my” Eric today!!!!

Oh what a beautiful day this has turned out to be!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you not remembering all those days out in shop classes ?

Are you not rem. those geology trips you took at Yuba Coll. - wild ones you said then !

And who was BEARFOOT ?

You are a Special Person - who does not need to contort herself ! tp

I H8 24 said...

You underestimate yourself. Your personality is what makes you who you are. Why do you think nobody wants to go to a seminar if you're not conducting it? You are not an aquired taste. You are a "love at first bite" type of person. Isn't it great to make friends all over again later in life when you can truly appreciate them? I hope that I may be one of the lucky ones who remains on your friends list!! God bless you!

mamie said...

I haven't known you long at all but your personality shines, and the light is bright on your blog. People like us? We can run but we can't hide the kind of person that we are. And I'm glad!

G Liz said...

You are absolutley, perfectly, the amazing YOU that I am so glad to know and love!!! And I wouldn't want you any other way!!!!

bernthis said...

Every day of my junior high years was the worst day of my life. I too couldn't wait to go to college but alas, whereever you go, there you are and I was still unhappy until I began to change inside. That being said, I think you're adorable