Monday, December 03, 2007

Top Ramen and Sugar Pops

Not too long ago, I tossed out this sentence, “I Ate Most Embarrassing Meal Ever for lunch”. Many people wanted to know WHAT I would consider to be the “Most Embarrassing Meal Ever”.

Now I’ll tell you, part of the reason it’s so embarrassing is because it’s something I cooked. The other reason is because I am such a food snob – and pretty merciless in teasing other people about what they eat – or consider “good food”.

So the meal? Was Top Ramen. Yes, yes, those sodium and MSG filled packages of carbohydrates. I keep some in my house.

For EXTREAM emergencies I tell you!

Seriously, I bought a 6 pack, or something, for 2 dollars, back in June or July. I still have 2 packages left. (Maybe it was April or May??? That seems like an awful lot of Ramen consumption in such a short period of time.)

Now here’s the deal. You KNOW, I am not going to make it just like it says too on the package. Oh no! Not ME. I must “doctor” it up. But I think that one of the ingredients in the “doctoring” might be considered a little “weird”. All I can tell you is it works for me.

(When I’m really, really desperate. Or tired. Maybe even broke.)

So I use the 2 cups of water the directions call for … I add the noodles and cook for 2 minutes.

(See I am FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS PEOPLE!)

Then? Then I slowly stir in a raw scrambled egg. So it becomes like Egg Drop Soup. So that isn’t too bad, is it?

Then I add a little butter.

If I have green onions in the house I might chop some of those in too.

This is all sounding fairly normal, right?

Even better, if I have some ham in the house, I might dice some in too.

Almost like “Chop Suey”, right?

But here’s where I go wrong. Very, very wrong.

I also want to point out I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS ON MY OWN.

This is all “my mother’s fault”.

I finish off the soup – with Parmesan Cheese.

*hangs head*

And not even “good”, “real”, Parmesan-Reggiano, Parmesan Cheese.

*Looks around circle*

“Hi, My name is Mit, and I use CANNED Parmesan Cheese Product on my Top Ramen Soup.”

As long as I am bearing my soul about food products, I have one more confession to make tonight.

There’s a box of Sugar Pops in my cupboard too. I am heartless. I placed it right next to the Wheat Chex and the Special K. I have no morals, I tell you.

Do you think they’ll take away my micro-plane?

4 comments:

Geggie said...

There is a box of cherry frosted pop-tarts in my pantry next to a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese.

I need therapy.

I h8 24 said...

I have a Velveeta slicer that I don't use. I'll send it to you just in case!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joseph H. said...

I <3 Top Ramen.

You should go look at this.

Allison said...

Yeah Mit! I am very proud of you! Now you're ready for a Fluffernutter!

:o)