I'm Getting Married in the Morning???

Here’s a little back story … which I eventually hope becomes relevant. My parents and I don’t talk much on the phone, but we communicate via e-mail and my blog.

Recently they went on a trip – and were unable to keep up with the blog – or e-mail. While on this trip my mom had some sort of injury … in the “buttocks”. Apparently it was VERY painful and debilitating. When she returned to CA, the doctors prescribed STRONG pain killers . I wanted to crack a joke about medicine for “pain-in-the-butts” … but figured it would never translate well. So in an e-mail to her, I just ALLUDED to it. From there she made reference to PITA … (pain-in-the-ass).

Anyway .. Yesterday’s I had this e-mail exchange with her:

Talla Paula: Whose blog was that on Sept. 27th - yours ?????? OMG MOM

Mittany: (to Talla Paula aka "Mom" or "TP") After looking at M blogs on 9/26 and 9/28 I do not understand your shock??

Talla Paula: Is it your wedding that you were writing about on you Blog of Sept. 27th? If so, I wasn't exactly prepared for that ????

Mittany: What wedding??? I am not prepared for it either!

Holy shit ... what are you talking about??? Going to look now!

Mittany: Okay - I don't even HAVE a post for 9/27 .... and I haven't written about a wedding ANYWHERE ... I think you have to DATE someone before you can marry them... and I am NOT "dating" anyone - MUCH LESS "going out on dates". Maybe you better cut back on the PITA meds??? (really, love you - but no boyfriend - no weddings INVOLVING ME here in NC.)

Mittany: (to friend who has access to parents e-mail … and has recently joked about sending them an e-mail about my less than “lady like” behavior.)

Mittany: Proof my Mom is insane .... Unless of course you

S.E.N.T

T.H.E.M

A.N.

E-M.A.I.L...

In which case ... where's my Ring??

FWA (Friend with access): I sent your mom nothing. They've got you one of them thar arranged marriages. Some are better than others.

Mittany: Some WHAT are better than others??? Rings? Weddings? Crazy family members??

Yeah - if "they" wanted to die from causes other than old age/health issues they'd "arrange" a marriage for me.

FWA: I think your folks found you the "right" guy to get you to finally settle down and give them some more grandkids. 'Cuz, ya know, that's been your problem all along... Not being a proper woman and all.

Mittany: Yah... 'cause more grandkids would make me "proper" .... lol Thankfully my Dad never, ever said anything about me and "having children" ... other than to assure me he'd never take care of me or any children I brought into this world outside of marriage. (it was more like a tough-love statement, not being uncaring) .... And my Mom finally gave up on the "your life will be more complete with children" ... sometime after I turned 30. Pretty much convinced her I wasn't "mother" material ... plus my interactions with younger 1st and 2nd cousins might also have reinforced this idea.

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And then finally today I get this missive from “Talla Paula” …

Talla Paula: Funny --- really funny -- I can't find that blog now, either !!! *~* Sure scared me tho –

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So .. that settle it! Still single .. still living the life I treasure .. and no-one is scared about impending marriages! :)