Monday, July 16, 2007

Road Rules

Addresses
Besides writing down the directions to the restaurant, it is highly advisable to ALSO write down the ACTUAL street address. (shut up CWEsq!)
Prophetic Table Numbers
They sat me at Table #38 < - inside joke
Casual Conversation and Flirting
Flirting in the elevator with the cute Welshman, who is impatiently pushing the elevator arrival button and then almost running over another man in the parking lot is exceedingly embarrassing when they end up sitting at the table next to you in the restaurant. The only gracious way to overcome this awkward beginning is to order another beer and plunk your-self down at their table. (or inquire at the hotel where they’re going to eat – and offer to accompany them!)
Southern Food
What is up with fried pickles? I just barely managed to restrain myself from ordering some as an appetizer.
Why do they serve cornbread AND hushpuppies? Same food product; different delivery vehicle.
Or how about breakfast with grits AND toast? Do we really need two starches?
Coleslaw served as a salad? I just don’t get it. MMMmmm – cornbread and coleslaw, followed by fried catfish and hushpuppies.
"Marinated onion salad" – you would think this is like, you know, red-onion rings, marinated in vinegar, maybe with cucumbers and some red-pepper flakes. NOT a whole onion cut in half that has been brining in vinegar sprinkled with pepper.
Cheesy Music
Carly Simon and “The Spy Who Loved Me”
Wings and “Band of the Run”
Manfred Mann’s Earth Band (not Man for Man’s Earth Band as Google just informed me) “Blinded by the Light”
Room Keys
If you stay in the same hotel chain, it is wise to discard previous room keys so you can get back into your room. Without having to go back down to the front desk because your card isn’t “working”. (a*hem, at THIS hotel)
Taking the envelop with the room number written on it is also advisable. Especially when you’re staying in your 5th hotel, in 7 nights. It will slow down the confusion of why there are only three floors, and your room is 422. (Because the truth of the matter Ms.Dyslexia, is your room is 224, and that would be the SECOND FLOOR, not the fourth floor.) *sigh*
Southern Fried Rock
Always sounds better in this part of the county. Particularly Lynyrd Skynyrd's "You Got that Right" Seems so long I been out on my own Travel light and I'm always alone Guess I was born with a travellin' bone When my times up, I'll hold my own You won't find me in an old folks home You got that right Well you got that right Said, you got that right Sure got that right I tried everything in my life Things I like I try 'em twice You got that right Sure got that right

2 comments:

Joe said...

You ought to get a GPS unit in your car. I love those things. I never rent a car anymore without getting that too.

Woodstock said...

[Manfred Mann’s Earth Band (not Man for Man’s Earth Band as Google just informed me) “Blinded by the Light”]

Written by none other than Bruce Springsteen himself. Manfred Mann's version, even the edited for radio one, is better. ;)